Rizhao

Merry Christmas !!

2011-12-24T20:24:00.000-08:00

My computer network has changed in my apartment and as a result I now spend less time on this machine and more time on "Bertha", my beloved media centre. It is a very poor excuse for not having updated the blog in six months and I have let it lapse to the extent that I am now receiving e-mails and letters enquiring about my health and/or continued existence here in China. So, to all concerned, and those who have just forgotten to blacklist me yet, I'm still alive – Merry Christmas!

Life here is much the same, which I could engineer into another feeble excuse for not keeping in touch as there is no news to tell, but I won't... on this occasion. There's a new girl in tow, who I met during the Chinese National Day holiday, but she lives about nine hours away. She has already made the journey to see me four times and I am planning to head over to Henan province to see her for Chinese New Year. She is young, intelligent and gorgeous (just like me) and perhaps after the Chinese New Year trip there will be something of more interest to blog about.

Best wishes to all for a very merry festive season. I am picturing some of the proper English turkey roasts that you will be enjoying and hope that they will be as mouthwatering to your taste buds as they are in my mind.

Just a short one today and if I made New Year resolutions, mine would be to update the blog more regularly... but I don't. So, I will speak to you on the blog the next time that I feel guilty or, for the technically capable among you, the next time that I catch you on Skype (ben_lefroy).

Best wishes to you, all and one.

Poor excuse for a blogger...

2011-06-29T04:35:00.000-07:00

It appears that my last blog update was on the 6th of May and so I have been rather neglectful in my communication duties towards family and friends – for this I apologise profusely, although the reality is that there really isn't anything to tell.

The weather is starting to pick up for the summer and I have already managed to have one beach outing with my students. Sandcastles and ice-creams by the sea is a far superior option to book exercises, sat in the classroom, but it does involve some serious homework marking at a later date, as the aforementioned students are all tasked with writing about any out-of-class activities post-excursion.

I do not keep a very close eye on news from the West because it no longer affects me greatly, and most of the time it consists of people whining about one thing or another, but at last glance it seems that the UK is planning to go on strike.

Why is it that people who work for state institutions expect to automatically be paid for years and years after they cease doing any work? The argument appears to be over pensions and the requirement for people who have not made any personal arrangements for their retirement to put in a little bit of extra effort before reaping the rewards offered by the state.

Given that the UK is still struggling to escape the huge financial burden gifted to it by so many consequetive months of 'financial growth' since Blair, Brown et al. I do not think that it is unreasonable for the government to expect a little help from those who benefit the most from the freebies long after they have hung up their plimsolls and mortar boards.

For those who are not happy with the situation back home (and I still consider it to be my home) I recommend a move overseas. Whilst we happily criticise communist regimes and the corruption in foreign countries, there is a lot to commend much of the thinking behind the red flags.

Citizens here in China love their government, despite the censorship and the poor human rights history. The love is not universal but it far outweighs the feeling towards the powers that be in the UK. And long may it continue.

If the strikers understood that the government is trying to correct the debt issues and the financial problems that the country faces, then perhaps they would not be behaving like spoilt children with too many teddies to throw. And maybe their time on strike would be better spent addressing their own plans for pension income once they cease to contribute anything worthwhile to society (assuming they are doing anything worthwhile at present), rather than just creating a further burden to a troubled country.

But this is just a blog, read by family and friends, and not the place for political whining. So, forgive me my rant, many thanks to those of you who have contributed so generously to my student stamp collection campaign and I will try not to leave the next update for so long.

Six months...

2011-03-06T06:29:00.000-08:00

It really has been six months since my last blog entry – although with two or three months of time spent researching Chinese hospitals, Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year and my own birthday having been squeezed into those months it doesn't seem like half a year at all.

The bitterly cold weather looks to be easing up a little and Rizhao has enjoyed some relatively mild days of late. The heavy snow which affected large parts of China this winter only paid a flying visit to the coastal area of Shandong and it is unlikely to return as we head into March, April and beyond.

My employer has asked me to extend my contract, by two months to September 2011, for reasons unknown to me. I am more than happy to do so but I was already planning to sign a new contract from July for a further 12 months. One can only assume that he wants his staff requirement for the summer courses covered well in advance but it does generate an unnecessary amount of paperwork regarding visa, flight allowance, pay increase etc. Upon reflection, it does mean that any future six- or 12-month contracts that I sign after that date will always come to an end on the other side of the very busy winter and summer courses – ie. he will not be left in the lurch, at least not by me. Perhaps it's not such a ridiculous idea after all.

I have been looking everywhere for a way to get a prepaid Visa or Mastercard here in China. I thought that I had found a way around the problem via Western Union's prepaid card but it turns out that you cannot simply add funds at any Western Union branch anywhere in the world, which I am sure would not be difficult for them to implement into a straightforward, risk-free product. No, it is designed for UK residents and can be magically topped up in numerous places all over the UK, but in China it is just a pretty piece of plastic.

China does have a card processing network, called Unionpay, and has been slowly building global relationships to enable the use of these cards overseas and online. Unionpay is supposedly supported by PayPal, but I ditched PayPal over a year ago because of its failure to comprehend such an animal as an expat, trying to use an account in a foreign country, and requesting verification for every purchase it thought might be fraudulent. I attempted setting up a China PayPal account a couple of days ago but when I tried to process a Unionpay payment it just failed. I will notify the world of any developments.

If you Google the subject of credit cards for expats in China, you will notice that there are more than a few potential customers for a prepaid card. In fact, one was launched by Bank of China during the Olympic Games, in Beijing, to ease the financial transaction difficulties for foreigners trying to survive in the clutches of the nation's restrictions. And as soon as the games finished, the card was buried, putting a stop to all those RMB escaping in the direction of a non state-controlled entity.

I fear that banking restrictions are here to stay for a few more years on the development ladder before they are removed in favour of competition, convenience and choice.

Still, I have found a proxy which enables me to use Blogger without the need for a credit card, for the time being (Blogger being one of the many government-censored sites), and will try not to leave it quite so long until the next update.

Warmest of regards and thanks for the continued letters, cards, e-mails, messages, tweets etc.

Still none the wiser...

2010-08-19T22:39:00.000-07:00

Well, the passport came back safely... minus a Chinese visa.

So, let's look at the facts:

• the Embassy in Hong Kong was to issue me with a new passport;

• it required my old passport (complete with a Chinese visa) in order to do so;

• it would cut the corners from the old passport, rendering it useless, as part of the process;

• it would be returning the new passport to a UK citizen, resident in China (a country where a visa is a legal requirement);

• the passport was issued minus said visa; and

• consequently, I have been an illegal immigrant now for over a month.

Why would anyone, even a civil servant, do something as banally stupid as that?

What possible reason could someone have for thinking that the passport did not require a visa? No, I can't think of one either.

Anyway, the result was a two-hour session at the PSB, involving a lot of questions, a photography session, several signatures (which you have to validate with a red-inked fingerprint across the top) on documents that I couldn't read, the exchange of a rather expensive-looking, unmarked, brown envelope and lots of 'aren't I a foolish foreigner' smiles to the lady at the desk. The result? I still don't have a passport with a visa.

I am scheduled to meet with the boss to sign a new contract at 3:00pm, when I will politely notify him that I am not going to sign anything until he can present me with my passport, complete with visa, and that I am 100% legal again.

The staff do not seem to realise that this is something of importance to a foreign national and wonder why I become frustrated with their lack of action if I ask them to do anything constructive about tracking the progress. At present I cannot book a hotel room, internal flight or do anything which requires proof of identification and confirms my legal status as a resident in China. It is not a situation that I wish to be in any longer and, hopefully, this afternoon's little tête-à-tête will higlight the importance of the issue.

Talking of the meeting, it is 2:30pm and I should head up to the school. I must get around to uploading some photographs soon. Every time that I decide to post an update it seems that it is rather time-limited but I have some interesting shots which, at around 1,000 words apiece, can tell you far more than I ever could in the time that I allow myself for blogging.

P.S. Weather's lovely !!

Still here, but for how long...

2010-07-09T16:04:00.000-07:00

The school kept its status as an EF franchise, I renewed my contract for another year, you can't get a passport from the British Embassy, summer is here and I have sunburn.

Well, we had the visit from EF Shanghai and all went well. The new school is in transition phase at the moment which is, erm... interesting. But I am sure that we will iron out most of the wrinkles in due course.

I went to Beijing last month to renew my passport. My original intention was to go to Shanghai but, when I checked the British Embassy website a month previously, it informed me that Shangai stopped doing passports in February 2010 and I had to go to Beijing. Upon my arrival at the Embassy in Beijing, I was informed that they, too, have stopped issuing passports and I should go to Hong Kong. Marvellous.

Needless to say that I had neither the necessary time, nor holiday funds, to just jump on a plane and stay in Hong Kong for a couple of nights, so I have entrusted my passport to a Chinese courier company. I requested DHL but the school chose an alternative company which is "like DHL, only local".

The courier company in question is based in Rizhao. It took them four phone calls and a two-hour delay to locate the school, which is in the same city, which started the alarm bells ringing. I filled in the form in front of the two scruffy-looking representatives, to make sure that there were no errors or omissions, and one of the school's staff filled in the Chinese sections for me. They checked it over and off they went, leaving me with a wrinkled receipt informing me of my tracking number.

Two days later I received a call from the school informing me that my package could not be delivered "because I had not written down a telephone number for the recipient". Ok, breathe, Benny, breathe... calm down.

So, just which phone number would they like me to give them for the British Embassy, 1 Supreme Court Road, Hong Kong? The main switchboard, perhaps: "Dial '1' to be put on hold... Dial '2'... " etc.? Maybe they want the personal mobile number of whoever will be processing my application? What, exactly, do they expect me to put in as a phone number? But, and more importantly, why didn't Scruffy and Scruffier ask for that information in the first place and, furthermore, why does a courier company think its delivery driver will need to put in a phone call to find the BRITISH F***ING EMBASSY?!! Ok, breathe, Benny, breathe... calm down.

Anyway, it is all now in the lap of the Gods and if I get deported you can rest assured that you will read all about it here. If, on the other hand, I end up in a Chinese prison, you may find that blog updates become a little less frequent. Unless, of course, whilst behind bars, they provide me with a computer with internet access and don't mind me using proxy servers to bypass the Great Firewall of China...

Sun, sea, sand and... school

2010-05-23T23:48:00.000-07:00

I am rapidly approaching the two-year mark here in China and I have just met my first representative from the parent company which promises so much on its website. And it looks as though we are actually going to receive some training this week. It is a little overdue, but welcome all the same.

The reasons why the powers that be have suddenly seen fit to take an interest are twofold – we are moving to new premises (same building, more stairs to climb) and the school has hit its five-year review. The purpose of the visit is to ascertain whether or not it will continue as an EF franchise or if we will be working as an independent school from now on. I am sincerely hoping for the former.

The new school brings with it reams of new technology and we will be working from "smart classrooms". This basically means a complete U-turn from the style of teaching to which I have become accustomed and the need to adapt to the new system. Those of you who know me will be aware that I am a self-confessed geek but I am still dubious about the use of IT in certain situations. A young learners environment is one of those situations.

Most of my classroom activities involve lively games, where the children are given the opportunity to run around and have fun, whilst learning at the same time. This form of teaching works well with young children, especially given that our private lessons are done outside of school hours, where most of the students would rather be playing computer games or watching TV.

The training for the new premises will take place over the next two days and my decision on whether or not to renew my contract, which ends on June 30, rests in the balance.

Watch this webspace...

If it ain't broke, fix it anyway

2010-04-27T18:48:00.000-07:00

If this isn't already a rule in the IT manager's handbook, it definitely should be:

"If you have systems functioning correctly,
you can rely on a third party to screw things up."

Ever since I had my first computer at the age of seven I have been in the grasp of the evil forces of those who make our lives easier under the guise of IT. Whether it has been Microsoft or Apple deciding that working operating systems need updating (along with every piece of software that you own which will no longer function), hardware providers deciding not to support certain parts of their product range that they now consider obsolete or, as is the case more regularly in the post-internet era, third-party online service providers.

Now, I know that IT is a fast-paced industry and that I should be grateful I am able to navigate my way around the field of roaming mines, unaided by a roaming-minefield guide, and without losing any virtual limbs but, as I am now a mere home user, I find the time spent addressing such issues a real irritant.

The irritant of late has been the Great Firewall of China (GFC) mine, which respawns again each time that it blows up an unsuspecting website or proxy service, so that it can continue its killing spree ad infinitum. Of course this only applies inside China but it affects me and those around me.

Today's nuisance mine, however, is one that I thought to be quite slow moving and unlikely to cause me any problems once I was able to get past GFC: my beloved Blogger.com.

I received an e-mail this morning which read:

You are receiving this e-mail because one or more of your
blogs at Blogger.com are set up to publish via FTP. Earlier this
year we announced a planned shut-down of FTP support on
Blogger Buzz (the official Blogger blog), and that deadline of
May 1st is quickly approaching. This is the second and final
email reminder to migrate your FTP blog from your current
URL to a Blogger-managed URL (either a Custom Domain
or a Blogspot URL).

For more information on the deprecation of FTP, as well as
a handful of helpful resources which will help walk you through
the migration process, please take a look at our dedicated migration
blog: http://blogger-ftp.blogspot.com/.

Thanks for using Blogger.

Oh, joy of joys! I get to spend my morning changing things that have worked perfectly for as long as I can remember, with the uncertaintly that accompanies the process, not knowing if they will ever really function quite the same again. What have I done to deserve such excitement on an otherwise enjoyable day?

So, for three years I have been able to publish the blog quite happily using FTP, but now I must change my settings to publish to a Blogspot URL or a custom domain. Why? It all works fine and it is just a piece of script. What are they changing behind the scenes which means that the capability to publish via FTP is being abandoned?

Even as I write this I do not know if it will publish correctly or if I am going to have to manually create today's blog post using HTML. I sincerely hope that I do not as I would be faced with going through the same process for every update from now on. I do not want a Blogspot URL. I do have a custom domain but I don't really want to use it. I want to keep on publishing via FTP, the same as I have always done, because it works.

Anyway, I am now going to set up a new address with Blogger. My domains and webspace will end up as nothing more than expensive redirects as I do not have the time or energy to chase down my ISP from China to change all of the DNS entries and besides I may want to use the sites for something other than a blog one day. I will endeavour to update all redirects from other sites and any links that people may have as soon as possible and my apologies for any inconvenience caused by today's mine.

Time for lunch and a beer...

Hello Mum

2010-03-08T18:31:00.000-08:00

As I have to jump through several hoops just to get my e-mail and Internet working properly and have to utilise a proxy to access banned sites like Blogger.com I decided to share my latest note home instead of penning a separate blog update...

新年快乐 !!

Your timing is excellent. We have just had the Lantern Festival (the last day of the New Year celebrations was on February 28) for this year (of the tiger), although the weather has not been very kind. So, I did not venture out to be photographed (again) or generally stared at and objectified (again), choosing instead to stay at home and watch the fireworks from my apartment window – very impressive they were, too. They were made even more enjoyable by the fact that I was sat near the heater, beer in hand, accompanied by some good friends, without the endless stream of irritating, Chinese, shanty-town dwellers pestering us (all of whom we love, just not all at once and especially not in the freezing cold).

And it is v-v-v-very c-c-c-cold (- 20゜C in Jinan yesterday). So, I am going to postpone my northward Beijing trip, to renew my passport, until the weather improves. I will probably venture up there sometime in June, before the summer courses begin.

But, otherwise, things here are wonderful. It has been very quiet during the New Year “festivities” because the locals in this tiny (only three million) city do not venture out to party, preferring to spend time at home with about five generations of relatives. It’s one of those Chinese things: they are very big on family. So, in a small city like Rizhao, when I meet new people they consider me to be very unusual – I have moved to a foreign country, away from friends and family, and I have never been married at the grand old age of 35. Although most of the time they cannot judge my age as it is difficult to gauge (ooh that rhymes!) and just last week I had a girl guess that I was only 20. I did ask her to marry me but I don’t think that she understood.

Anyway, it is always a pleasure to hear from you and I hope that ol’ Blighty has recovered from its winter spell – a particularly bad one this year – and that I will be able to catch up with you on the phone sometime soon. This e-mail thingamajig is all very well but it’s no substitute for hearing someone’s voice.

Take care and lots of love

Benny (laoshi)

--

Ben Lefroy
Rizhao EF English Training Centre
4th Floor, Riguang Building
No. 182, Yantai Road
Rizhao
Shandong
P.R. China 276826

Phone: +86 6338702020
Mobile: +86 13468318441
E-mail: ben@lefroy.co.uk
--

2010: Year of the Tiger

2010-02-19T16:19:00.000-08:00

Those of you closest to me will know that I have just celebrated my birthday (many thanks to everyone for the calls, e-mails, text messages etc.) but you may not all be aware that 14 February was also Chinese New Year, so I was on holiday for my birthday as well. At least, I don't think that the national holiday was for my birthday but I would not be surprised if they have decided to honour me. After all, the last holiday was on 01 October, which I guess was for my sister's hatching date...

Fireworks are still going off outside as they have been doing for almost two weeks now. Before the main celebration there is a "Little New Year", which occurs one week before the lunar date, and is when the fireworks start. The pops, whistles and bangs carry on for one week, until Chinese New Year, when the pops, whistles and bangs reach peak intensity. They then continue, albeit at a reduced level, for the next seven days, as the majority of the Chinese are still on holiday. And now, towards the end of the holiday, as businesses begin to re-open, there is a fresh wave of fireworks to celebrate the start of trading again for the New Year.

So, why do they set off so many fireworks?

Apparently, the fireworks are to scare away evil spirits. The Chinese believe the start of a new year to be a very important time and, for those of you who are interested, you can find a lot more information by looking on Wikipedia.

And what does the coming Year of the Tiger mean for those born under this sign?

Maybe some of you were born during a Year of the Tiger?

You were if you were born in one of these years:
1902, 1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986 or 1998 (2010, after 14 February, is, of course, also a Tiger year but I doubt that many readers fall into this category).

Find out more about the characteristics of Tigers here. There is plenty to read, although I have my suspicions that it may be a little biased in their favour. Anyone who registers the URL http://www.yearofthetiger.net/ and spends such a long time posting that much information about just one of the 12 zodiac signs is probably... well, a Tiger.

Anyway, the sun is shining, the snow is refusing to melt, I haven't managed to see any of the preparation in the run up for the Winter Olympics apart from a rather unfortunate photograph of the British women's bobsleigh team, taken from behind (she's lucky that she wasn't – you can see the story here) and it's back to work on Monday.

So, once again, I will just wish you all a xīn nián kuài lè !!

(Happy [Chinese this time] New Year)

Has it really been that long?!

2010-01-05T16:15:00.000-08:00

I have just read with some amazement that the last post was in March last year. I cannot believe how the time has flown and how little, of any note, has occurred since then. At least, nothing of interest to friends and family back home.

After the riots last year in the north-west between the Han and the Urumqi, China clamped down on the ability to access a lot of websites that it considered a threat, including Facebook, Blogger and even Skype. Hence the lack of updates.

However, I have now found a way around the Great Firewall of China with a little proxy service that gives me an address in the US and so I now have no excuse for not keeping the blog up to date. Unfortunately, I still can’t use any of my online gambling accounts because the IP address is, well… in the US.

So, what has happened since the last update? The headlines:

April: "Easter": A relative who shall remain nameless (Mum) distributes disturbing pornographic material.

A shocking reflection on modern society

May: "Hannah (a.k.a. the Ginger Ninja) visits China – residents of Rizhao flee in panic": They fled in droves, terrified by rumors of her impending arrival, with many jumping empty-handed into motorcycle taxis and farm trucks, before vacating the city.

Residents fleeing the city in May

June: "Loch Ness Monster sighted in Rizhao": residents remain calm.

Unfazed by "Nessie" – one of the residents who fled in May

July: "Riots in north-western China amid ethnic tension": The riots between the Urumqi and Han populations result in many deaths. R.I.P. Facebook, Blogger and Skype.

Lest we forget

August: "Fears of swine flu epedemic escalate": As the number of reported cases continues to increase, governments issue health warnings.

Robin Cook was one the first victims

September: "Tourist season ends – beaches deserted": As the summer comes to an end in Rizhao, traders prepare for a quiet time until next year.

A worrying sight for traders as the season comes to a close

October: "Halloween": A relative who shall remain nameless (Dad) distributes disturbing pornographic material.

Proof, if ever it were needed, that pumpkins are scary

November: "Scientists develop new mouse for women": After years of extensive research on how to get a female brain to function in a logical fashion akin to that of computer processes, scientists have come up with a new design in mouse technology that should make the learning process feel a lot more natural.

One less barrier for women in the IT world

December: "Customers say 'no' to Cadbury merging with Nestle": Aside from the fact that Cadbury is a British brand that is loved by the British public, there have been some concerns regarding a merger between the two confectionery giants.

Not really suitable for young children

The inspiration for Brokeback Mountain?

Just wrong

January: "Ben updates blog": A bit of a silly one this month as I have been out of touch for so long. I hope that you all had a great festive season and a welcome break from the daily grind. Life in China is still treating me very well and I wish you all the best for 2010.

I will endeavour to update the blog on a regular basis from this point forward and would just like to wish you all a xīn nián kuài lè (Happy New Year) !!

It wasn't me...

2009-03-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a geek and I have persecuted many different computers over the years but I think that they are conspiring, via the inter-web thingy, to get back at me.

It has just come to my notice that the last blog update showing on my site was, previously, from 17 December. Now, whilst I admit to having been somewhat slack in my blog maintenance duties, I feel that I have been wronged by technology. There was, in fact, another blog post on 24 January which, for reasons known only to itself and the Blogger.com gremlins, decided to publish itself to its own page.

Anyway, for anyone who is interested, or bored enough, to want to know the story behind the Chinese zodiac, you can now scroll down and have a look.

You'll notice that the date of the wayward post, which is automated when you update your blog, although not beyond forgery given the time or inclination, of which I have neither, is 24 January 2009.

So, why did it refuse to publish in the correct place... ?

Your guesses are as good as mine. Please send your answers, on a postcard, to: Benny, East Coast, China.

I'm sure that they will all turn up in the right place as well.

Ouchie !!

2009-03-07T20:06:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since my last post and if you are wondering then [...insert lame excuse here...] and so I apologise.

I have had an eventful week this week. I rode my motorbike into a great big gaping hole in the ground that had been left by one of the utility companies. A hole which went straight down into the sewer. A hole which was in a street with no functioning street lights. A hole which caused me a great deal of pain, resulting in five stitches in my chin, cuts and bruises all over my body, and a period of convalescence away from work.

So, what is the outcome?

Well, the police have been very good and are trying to establish who is responsible for the monumental cock-up, whereby you can have a seven foot by seven foot hole in the street with no barriers, no signs, no tape, nor any form of warning whatsoever. They are pursuing this line of enquiry in order to compensate me for my injury and loss. This isn't America, however, so I am only hoping to receive the cost of my suit, my shoes, my motorbike, my glasses and my hospital bills.

The hole in the street, as yet, remains in exactly the same state as before: with no barrier, no signs, no tape, nor any form of warning whatsoever. And the street lights continue to malfunction. Until someone dies I guess that it will be left in its current state.

I will be sure to cross unlit streets from my preferred choice of routes.

Spring festival was good, apart from the fact that everywhere was closed. Lantern Day was amusing and my room mate and I made the local paper (see left, you can make out the two white faces in the top corner), along with all of the far more interesting traditional Chinese displays and costumes. But, to the Chinese residents here in Rizhao, the two westerners were of far more interest than any of those, hence the picture in Rizhao News the next day. Two of my students brought me in copies of the paper to show me, which is how I found out that we were famous.

Not much else has been going on here as everywhere seems to go to sleep during the winter. The fireworks have just about stopped a-popping every waking hour, as they are want to do during Spring Festival, and things are getting back to normal. The weather is getting a little better and it will not be too long before I am back swimming in the sea and lazing on the beach during my time off.

I will endeavour to get another post up again before too long but, right now, I feel the need to go and dose up again on pain killers. I'm not sure what they are, because all of the writing on the box is in Chinese, but swilled down with a bottle of beer they certainly take the edge off of the aches and pains!

C'est la vie xx

Happy New Year (of the Ox)

2009-01-24T21:31:00.000-08:00

I thought that I would go for a different approach to this particular update and inform you all of something which, until a few days ago, I didn't know and so maybe you don't either: the story behind the Chinese zodiac, which I found on Wikipedia.

A legend explains the sequence in which the animals were assigned. Supposedly, the twelve animals fought over the precedence of the animals in the cycle of years in the calendar, so the Chinese gods held a contest to determine the order. All the animals lined up on the bank of a river and were given the task of getting to the opposite shore. Their order in the calendar would be set by the order in which the animals managed to reach the other side.

The cat wondered how he would get across if he was afraid of water. At the same time, the ox wondered how he would cross with his poor eyesight. The calculating rat suggested that he and the cat jump onto the ox's back and guide him across. The ox was steady and hard-working so that he did not notice a commotion on his back. In the meanwhile, the rat sneaked up behind the unsuspecting cat and shoved him into the water. Just as the ox came ashore, the rat jumped off and finished the race first. The lazy pig came to the far shore in twelfth place. And so the rat got the first year named after him, the ox got the second year, and the pig ended up as the last year in the cycle. The cat finished too late to win any place in the calendar, and vowed to be the enemy of the rat forevermore.

The twelve animals, representing the twelve earthly branches are, in order, the: rat; ox; tiger; rabbit; dragon; snake; horse; sheep (or goat); monkey; rooster; dog; and pig.

And this year is the year of the ox. What does it mean? Well, it's probably about as much nonsense as any other astrological mumbo jumbo but, suposedly, people born under the sign of the ox are patient, soft spoken and inspire confidence in others. They also have strong codes and work ethics. However, they tend to be eccentric and bigoted, and are known to anger easily. Although they speak little, when they do they are quite eloquent, but when crossed have fierce tempers. Even though they are easy-going, they can be remarkably stubborn, hating to fail or be opposed. They are most compatible with snake, rooster, and rat people.

Dependable and invariably solid, oxen are excellent organisers and systematic in their approach to every task they undertake while not being easily influenced by other people’s ideas. Loyalty is a part of their character, but if deceived they will not forget. Although not imaginative, they are capable of good ideas.

Oxen usually tend to be workaholics, and they should make an effort to relax more. According to ancient wisdom, and being strong and robust, they should be blessed with long lives.

And the upcoming dates for Chinese new years are: 26 January 2009; 14 February 2010; 3 February 2011; 23 January, 2012; and10 February, 2013.

Personally, I think that it is very decent of the Chinese government to honour both of the Lefroy children's birthdays – even though the celebration of mine is timed upon the nearest lunar date and not, actually, on 18 February – Hannah's, on the other hand, is on the fixed date of her birth every year, on 1 October.

Jolly good show, what?

Ho, ho, ho ...

2008-12-17T16:06:00.000-08:00

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned.

It has been over six weeks since my last confession.

No, actually, I have not had anything to confess because I have been a good boy... all year... honestly, Santa.

Well, with one week to go until Christmas, the Chinese are in full festive spirit. Everywhere you go there are decorations and images of good ol' St Nick plastered on all the doors and windows of the shops and restaurants. Our ex-DoS (Director of Studies) decorated one of the restaurants in traditional red, green and yellow (I always thought it was meant to be red, green and white) which provoked a line of enquiry from one of the Chinese girls as to the origin of the colour scheme. And this, I have to say, left me more than a little bit red-faced, as I did not know.

Fortunately, I was able to stall her long enough to run a quick Google on the BlackBerry and I uncovered an answer: the red represents the blood of Christ; the green represents everlasting life (hence the planting of evergreens in Churchyards); and the white represents light (either candle light or the star that led the three wise men).

At least, this was the best answer that I could find in a short space of time on my trusty mobile. Anyone who can shed further light on the subject please step forward, mouse in hand, and head for the comments link at the end of this post. Who knows? I may have inadvertently altered the future of all Chinese Christmas decoration. I mean, I would hate for them to mistell the story about how "there once lived a great, great man who walked upon this earth, who did many amazing things, who spaketh that all decoration should be in red, green and white... and they called him Benny."

Seriously, though, if anyone can confirm the validity, or otherwise, of my Googled knowledge I would be interested to hear from them.

Staying on a Christmas theme, I am pleased to say that the overdue blog update is due, in part, to the fact that I have no classes today and, hence, a little time on my hands. I am somewhat less pleased that I will be donning a Santa costume for the next two nights to entertain, what always seems like several million, Chinese ankle-biters at their Christmas parties. Somehow, during the "planning phase" of these parties, I drew the Santa straw. I'm not 100% clear as to whether this happened after the sixth or seventh pint of the planning phase but I do recall agreeing to do it and I'm sure that I will enjoy it once I'm there.

And that's about it. There's not much else to report, to be honest. The weather is officially cold now, school carries on regardless of Christmas (we get one day off on 25th), the West continues to get poorer whilst the East gets richer and the sun always shines in Rizhao.

Merry Christmas !!

The dreaded lurgi

2008-11-02T20:13:00.000-08:00

Clearly the natural guilt reflex kicks in after about four weeks as the feeling of compulsion to update my blog has been occurring, almost religiously, at four-week intervals.

It has been an interesting month. I have been horribly under the weather. I very rarely succumb to disease of any sort as I find the time spent being ill is utterly fruitless and dull. On this occasion, however, I managed to pick up something that no amount of brandy would shift and hence I was introduced to the wonderful world of Chinese hospitals.

I had been ill for a while and carried on regardless but, after a couple of weeks, a colleague got fed up with my insistence that "it would pass" and, given that the sight of the 'laoshi' coughing up lumps of lung butter in the classroom isn't really what the parents are paying for their children to come and see, I decided that I would take their advice and seek some assistance.

And so it came to pass that I found myself in a hospital in Rizhao, with a thermometer stuck, rather unceremoniously, under my armpit, surrounded by a small crowd of inquisitive medical staff holding a staring contest with yours truly as the focal point.

After about the fourth of fifth attempt I managed to convince them that I wasn't lying when I said that I knew only a little Mandarin and one of the happy (irritatingly so when you are feeling really ill), smiling doctors examined me.

I was wondering at this point if hacking up a green ball of sputum would assist the doctor with her diagnosis but, before I could decide and probably for the best, she reached a conclusion almost instantly.

Doctor (at least I'm guessing this is what she said): "OK, I think I know what's wrong."

Patient (I know this bit because this is what I was thinking): "And so now I get a prescription, go to a chemist and get a course of antibiotics... right?"

Doctor (I don't need to guess this bit because this is what happened): "Erm, nope. You come and lie down on this bed and we hook you up to a drip."

And there it is. The Chinese doctors seem to have a drip for everything. They just lie you down, plug you in and away you go. I was in a room with several other patients all wired up to different bottles and figured that I had no choice but to lie there and wait until I had been dosed-up.

The bottle did not take too long to filter down into my vein. I stopped the episode of Top Gear that I was watching on my iPod and indicated to the nurse that I was all done and could she please unplug me. She did so without futher ado, removing the bottle that had been hanging there for 20 minutes or so, smiling at me all the while, as she replaced it with a second one. I turned Top Gear on again and lay back down.

After a third bottle of who knows what and an iPod nearing the end of its battery life I was finally unplugged and sent on my way with half a pharmacy's worth of pills and potions which I was to take over the course of the next eight days. And I now understand why one of the patients had three drips going at once when I went in. He was in a hurry. If there is ever cause for a return visit I will remember that trick.

Anyway, I am happy to report that the assorted medicines, whatever they were, seem to have done the trick, although I do not know if it was the tablets, the drips or the illness that was responsible for my feeling a lot worse for the next few days before I felt better.

So, apart from furthering my knowledge of the local hospitals, what else has been happening this month? If the truth be told, not a great deal.

School is much the same and still no indication as to when I will get my first round of training through the parent company. Teachers working at English First franchises are supposed to receive training at certain times during the year but, after four months, I have not heard of anything in the pipeline and will not be surprised if the next two-thirds of my contract pass without any such obligation being fulfilled. I do not mind there being no training as, whilst it is always beneficial to share ideas on teaching methods, I am learning rapidly on my own, through colleagues, the Internet and, mostly, from the children. But what I was looking forward to was the opportunity to see some other places in China, as the training camps are held in bigger cities such as Shanghai or Beijing, when the travelling costs are being paid for by the school. Still, I will just have to pencil in some travel time when I take my holiday.

Any other news?

I don't think so, other than to report that it is still beautiful and sunny most days, albeit getting slightly chillier. I am beginning to wonder if there is sun all year round in Rizhao, because of its location on the east coast of China, and that the weather just gets hotter and colder depending on the time of year. It certainly doesn't seem to be showing any signs of disappearing at the moment and I suppose that I should really go and make the most of it whilst it's here instead of updating this blog.

So that's exactly what I am going to go and do...

Zai jian !!

Gam Bei !!

2008-10-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly a month since the last update (again) and things here are still pretty rosy:

the weather's on the turn but we're still getting the odd scorcher;
my classes are progressing well through their respective programs;
I'm seeing some variation in the classes that I am getting to teach;
I'm finding my feet now with the local area;
the Chinese language skills are developing (slowly);
I've managed to get my ex-Vodafone BlackBerry unlocked and it's almost back to full functionality (still haven't cracked the data services on China Mobile yet); and
we've just had a three day holiday in honour of my sister's birthday.

Yes, that's right, my sister's birthday on 1 October is Chinese National Day - it's probably the biggest event in the Chinese calendar - and there's a three-day national holiday to celebrate.

Most people get a longer break than three days but our employer likes to get his pound of flesh. After all, it's not like any of us have given anything up to come to China and teach in the school. Native English-speaking teachers grow on trees over here, thus we are easily replaceable, so why treat your staff to any more days off than is absolutely necessary?

If all of the students are on holiday with their parents because of National Day, make the teachers come in to work anyway and find pointless, time-consuming things to occupy them. This will make the teachers feel valued and respected and it definitely won't send them trawling through the Cathay Teacher website for new jobs at the next given opportunity.

Fortunately for the school though there are very few places crying out for for native English-speaking teachers in China. Hardly any jobs to be found. So we'll just count our blessings.

What makes it all the more astounding is that in the last six months or so, the school has lost three teachers, with a fourth on the way out in just under a week. This has cut the number of available, remaining, foreign teachers to just five. And the school currently has its highest ever levels of in-house students, which means that the available human resources for the far-more-lucrative, external business and university classes has been drastically reduced.

So why haven't the rest of us headed for the hills? Well... the remainder of us all get on very well, we all take our teaching very seriously (there are no holidaying, gap-year students here, just old men!), there's a fantastic beach which is great in the summer and sometimes... it's just better the devil you know. I read far too many scare stories about schools in China before I settled upon this one and, to be fair, if that's my only gripe then I'm just whingeing like a teacher.

Once we've started the Chinese branch of the the overseas teachers' union things will be different. Just you wait and see what happens after the revolution...

So, what else has happened this month?

We were invited as guests of honour to the 20th anniversary celebrations at Rizhao Polytechnic a week or so back. The show was truly amazing, with huge dancing dragons, performers, acrobats and martial arts displays. And the speeches, too, were... well, actually I'm not sure because, in all honesty, I dozed off. Sat outside, in the sunshine, listening to tens of dozens of speeches, in a language of which I know only a few words, I succumbed to my body's overriding desire for rest.

It was a wonderful morning though and we were the centre of attention for the 20,000 students. People wanted to take our photos, we received a round of applause when we turned up from a stand with, at least, a few thousand of the student population, we were ushered to the front half-way through the proceedings, there were official photographs taken and then after the whole thing finished we were taken to a different part of the university and presented with beautiful gifts to thank us for coming. And what's more, I don't even teach there!

I start business classes this week. It's about an hour's drive from the school to get to the company where I will be teaching but these are the classes where I will get to use the knowledge gained from working with large corporates in London that the school is able to charge a premium for. I'm looking forward to dusting off those sections of my brain that have been harbouring all of the Siebel training for so many years.

Although the colder weather cannot be too far away now, it's going to be another beautiful day here by the looks of it. It's 9.20 am and the sun is already streaming through the curtains. What makes that so much the better is that today is my day off, so I think that I will pop down to the beach for a swim.

I hope that the weather in England is also great... *snigger*

Benny Laoshi

Has it really been a month?

2008-09-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

Judging by the date of my last post, it has been a month now since my last update. I apologise to those of you who have noticed their absence but I am sure that you are in the minority.

So, what has happened since the summer teaching season came to a close? Well, we now have two, yes two, days off per week and the teaching hours have dropped back to normal levels. The resultant effect is that, as I am not starting at nine o'clock every morning, I am spending more on food and beer. This is good news for the local supermarkets and restaurants but bad news for my pocket.

I hate to have to mention it again, as I know that the weather in England has been awful, but the weather here continues to be fantastic and the rainy season appears to have come to an end, although it is a little cooler now in the evenings - I had to wear a jumper with my t-shirt and shorts on Tuesday - and there is never really a 'dry' season, so there is still occasional rain.

Managing to get to grips with the money is difficult here. We earn a reasonable wage for the area in which we are based but you really need to be fluent in Chinese in order to take advantage of the cheaper options which are available. This means that most of my shopping is done at the larger stores, which are not far off western pricing. As my Chinese improves, however, I am sure that life will become cheaper. I have already found one restaurant, near to the apartment, where I can manage to order a couple of dishes I like, that is not expensive.

Anyway, duty calls, I have lesson plans to finish before the weekend madness begins, so my best wishes to all at home and I will try not to leave it so long until the next post.

Sun, sea, sand and ... school

2008-08-16T01:50:00.000-07:00

It has been a woeful two weeks since the last update and my sincerest apologies to those of you who have e-mailed me and not had a response. It all boils down to the simple fact that, much as I love you all dearly, the weather has been awesome here recently (30 degrees+ most days) and I have a beach within walking distance. Well, that and the fact that I have had a lot of reports to do as the summer season has come to a close. If that sound like a feeble excuse it is because it is just that: a feeble excuse.

So, what's been happening here in Rizhao?

To tell the truth, not a lot outside of my being very busy and spending all my free time having fun whilst trying to get to grips with my Chinese lessons.

The Olympics continue to play a major part of everyday goings on, despite there being no Olympic activity in the tiny little city where I am based. China is soundly dominating the medal table and looks set to continue towards a record total. It's a joy to be here to witness the pride with which the Chinese people view their country and its achievements across the spectrum of international Olympic sports. It is, however, a little tiresome pointing out on a regular basis that the tiny little island that I used to call home does not, and never will, have such a wealth of talent to choose from, hence our standing in the medal table.

I went to a local bamboo theme park with the students yesterday and spent more than I had intended on hand-carved (by monks) items for the apartment. An apartment which, as I am sitting writing this, has three Chinese girls running about the place tidying and doing the laundry. They do a fantastic job and are very tolerant of my linguistic ignorance.

Some of the things that they had on sale at the bamboo park would fetch a fortune if they were being sold in an upmarket boutique in London. It seems a shame that there is no real, established trade route for the poor monks to take their products to an international market. Perhaps I will have to investigate putting one in place - purely for the benefit of the monks, you understand.

Anyway, I trust that life in the UK is as mundane as ever and I can hardly contain my indifference about ever returning "home".

Time for another Tsingtao...

Time flies...

2008-07-25T03:46:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that it has been more than two weeks since my last post. The time has been flying by here and I am slowly beginning to find my feet. The rain has been relentless since my arrival and apparently it hasn't rained in such a fashion for as long as anyone can remember. So, you can guess who is being blamed for bringing the British weather with him!

It's not too bad though as it's nice, warm rain and today was actually a scorcher. The weather here is actually quite tropical and I guess that the monsoon season has just decided to leave a little more than a calling card this year.

We went to the zoo this morning which was a bit of a joke. The poor animals have no artificial habitats in which to while away their isolated, caged lives. The monkeys had a reasonably-sized rock to crawl on but the solitary lion was in what can be best described as a circus-like transportation cage. Poor little bugger. And apart from a selection of common-or-garden farm animals, that was about the limit of the viewing pleasure. But the kids seemed to enjoy it and it gave me a chance to get some pictures.

Everything here is going very well. I am beginning to get to grips with the resources in the staff office and I think that my lessons are taking shape a bit better than they were for the first week or so. There's a long way to go before I will be even half-way happy though, as my lack of experience and knowledge of teaching methods and games will take years, not weeks, to build upon. Everyone has to start somewhere though.

Actually, sorry, did I say "everything" is going well? I meant "almost everything". The apartment that the school has provided has a resident nutter who keeps on turning off our electricity at night. She is able to do this because the master switch is conveniently located in the stairwell so any old Tom, Dick or Harry can gain access.

Her reason for doing this?

She claims that the air conditioning makes a noise that keeps her awake. So she expects us to frazzle in heat of the apartment at night and turn it off... sorry, no dice. And when she decides to kill the noise by turning it off at the mains it also turns off the mosquito repellent devices that we have plugged in at the apartment to keep the little so-and-so's away.

The result?

We are getting feasted on.

The solution?

Fit a cover over the box in the stairwell so that she cannot access the switch? Fix the noisy air conditioning unit so that she no longer kicks up a fuss? Buy the loony some ear plugs?

Nope.

Make me up sticks and move to a different apartment just one month after I have landed?

Yep.

Pure genius!

Settling in...

2008-07-09T02:28:00.000-07:00

A week has passed since my last update and my broadband at home is now up and running. I am trying to take everything in as best I can but there is so much to learn. I am sitting writing this on my laptop in the apartment, drinking a nice bottle of Vieux Pape, which is actually quite hard to come by in China as it is out of most people's price range and only sold as a luxury item. I have just purchased a scanner and a webcam/microphone for the computer in the hope that I will soon have some photos to upload – we have a zoo trip with the students on Friday – and if any friends or family are set up on MSN, Yahoo Messenger, Skype, ICQ, etc. or even good old-fashioned web conferencing, they can see how much the mosquitoes love me on camera and laugh at me for free.

Most of my students are great, there are a couple who are going to need a slightly firmer hand but they'll soon learn who's boss, or, at least, that's the plan. Next week I start on full schedule: 26 teaching hours and a 40-hour week, in total. The only problem is that my lesson plans are still taking me longer at the moment than the other teachers, so I am in for a bit of a shock. Fortunately we have another teacher arriving next week which will water down everyone's workload a little – the senior teacher is already having to work overtime and will, I'm sure, be glad of the extra pair of hands.

So, if anyone is reading this and fancies a year or two in China teaching, get your applications in quick – you won't be disappointed.

In at the deep end...

2008-07-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

Having been told that I would have a couple of weeks to settle in before the term starts, imagine my delight at having my first classes on Thursday. Yes, you read that right: classes, plural.

So, on my first day I started my induction, today I will continue my induction and tomorrow I am teaching. Somewhere I need to find time to do two lesson plans but, as yet, I have not even been given the class files, otherwise I would not be updating my blog, I would be doing those instead!

But I've got to start somewhere and the sooner I start the sooner I will learn. The same applies to my Chinese. I am desperate to get started on Mandarin lessons but the summer term is so busy that I cannot start until mid August. So I will just have to pick up what words I can here and there and be patient.

The rest of the team here are great. They all work hard but also play hard and my biggest fear – that there would be lots of spotty, teenage students on gap year placements who don't treat the position as a job, preferring instead to treat it as a year-long vacation – was completely unfounded. There is only one teacher younger than I am, and even he is 30.

Anyway, as long as the computers in the school decide to work I will try and keep the updates regular. I also have broadband at my appartment and hopefully Jack, the logistics department, accounts department, general handyman and all round nice chap, will be able to set it up properly for me at some point, although he doesn't have any English and cannot understand the instructions on the setup wizards and needs a translator (who doesn't know anything about computers!).

Welcome to China !!

Eight days and counting ...

2008-06-20T00:30:00.000-07:00

A fair bit has happened since my first post back in March. My original schedule was to be in China around late August, but the lovely Ianthe, my director of studies, expressed a desire to have me out there before July "as they could really use me". And, as I'm never one to turn down an opportunity of being used, I had to move things forward a little... well, a lot actually - two months to be precise - and I fly out on 28 June.

The visa process was interesting - three days' worth of interesting as it turned out. I travelled up to London on Monday 2 June to have my visa processed by the Chinese Embassy, allowing plenty of time before the 4.00pm closing time for processing. Unfortunately, the 4.00pm closing time, as stated on the website, is actually 12.00pm. This was inconvenient, as it was now 1.00pm. But not as inconvenient as it must have been for the fellow who had spoken to the policeman on the door a little earlier who, the officer informed me, had journeyed all the way down from Newcastle under the same impression from the information on the Internet. He went on to advise me that, realistically, to have a chance of having a visa processed the same day, you needed to be at the office for about 8.00am.

Fortunately, I have several good friends in the capital and I was able to stay with one of them overnight. As a married man with three daughters and two dogs, both bitches, the canines I mean, not the daughters and the ... oh, never mind ... anyway, I think that Cliff was pleased to have some male company. I'm not sure that the obligatory morning-after hangover was quite as welcome but you have to do these things when men get together.

And so there I was again, outside the Chinese Embassy, at 8.15am, queueing in the rain to get my visa processed. The story doesn't really change that much through 9.15am, 10.15am and 11.15am although I am of the opinion that the couriers working for the "same-day, guaranteed-processing" companies definitely know something (or someone) that the general public doesn't, as they appeared to be coming and going with bag-loads of passports, whilst the rest of us stood around getting wet. Needless to say that I have kept the leaflets that were being handed out by the aforementioned companies, to the bedraggled masses in the queue, for any future applications.

As the doors close at 12.00pm, the remaining number are allowed in and the queue is "snaked" around ropes until the room is full. I do not know if any were turned away but the numbers behind me in the queue were quite substantial and I daresay that they would have had to return the next day if they weren't inside the door. So, I suppose I should be grateful that I had been advised to get there early by the officer on the Embassy door the previous day but, somehow, after nearly four hours in the rain, I was wishing that he had advised me to pay the fee for one of the "same-day, guaranteed-processing" companies.

Anyway, I got processed at 12.15pm and was informed that you cannot have same-day service after 11.00am and so I had the choice of picking up my passport the following day, on Wednesday, or waiting until Friday. Obviously, I wanted it as quickly as possible and paid for the "express" processing.

I am indebted to Clifford (and his liver) as he offered me a bed for the second night of my "day-trip" to London and I was able to collect my visa the next day with relative ease. The queue for collections moves very swiftly but, take note, if you are ever planning on getting a visa to China from the UK, you can only pay in cash which, in this modern age of plastic and electronic transactions, seems rather archaic. So, it was quite a long, expensive, drawn-out process, but I have my visa and I fly in just over one week.

Go east, my son …

2008-03-07T05:06:00.000-08:00

Whilst all around me were out partying and seeing in the New Year, I was curled up in the lounge with a miserable chest infection on 31 December 2007. I do not know if it was the fact that I was ill or simply that I could not bear the prospect of spending another year doing the same job, listening to the same childish whining, putting up with the same finger-pointing blame culture, the same gossip mongering and the same uneducated, ill-informed criticism that I have had to tolerate for the last five years, but, whatever the reason, I decided that enough was enough. I made a promise to myself that the next New Year's Eve my life would be very different…

I have always wanted to travel. In my younger years it was the adventure and the opportunity to escape from an area that offered me no career options that led me to quit my job in Somerset to take up a position in Australia. Before I could emigrate I needed to sell my house to raise the necessary cash to get out there. It was keenly priced to sell, the housing market was on the up in 2000, and so it did not take me too long to get an offer on my house. Everything was looking rosy and on schedule for the required start date until, at the last minute, my buyer pulled out. I had previously refused a higher offer, because I do not agree with the practice of gazumping, but look where my principles had got me. The house did not sell in time, the position in Australia went to someone else and I ended up going to work in London instead.

Contrary to the phrase, it's funny how time flies when you're not having much fun. Because that was eight years ago and I can count just one holiday in all that time. Quite why I have been wasting my life as a wage slave for so long escapes me but the one thing that those eight years have provided me with is plenty of opportunity to reflect upon the state of the complex world that we live in. And let's be honest, it's in a bit of a mess.

So, I want to do my little bit to make the world a better place. I've never been much of a tree hugger, I don't think that I can do a great deal about world poverty, or sort out the troubles in the Middle East, but I can do something that will make a difference to at least some people's lives. And that something is teaching.

Now, I've never really had a great deal of respect for teachers as a breed, in general, nor do I expect that many of those who encountered me during my latter school years would have had the word respect at the forefront of their minds when it came to my end of year reports, but some teachers shone so brilliantly and had such an effect during my formative years that they have instilled in me this desire to put something back. That's why I hope to see in the next New Year in a place called Rizhao, in Shandong province, in the People's Republic of China.